so far, pt. 1

*I usually don’t have time to write anything very meaningful, and I want to force myself to, because I think it’s a really healthy exercise, so this is part one of what I think will probably be a lengthy series of posts. The title is ‘so far’, because with every day I live, I see things just a little differently, and this is what I see, so far. I would LOVE to hear your feedback/thoughts! *end disclaimer

I’m not sure what my goal is writing this right now. It seems like I haven’t had time to even think insightfully in a long time, and I think that somehow, writing makes it easier.
…well, I suppose that’s not true. I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I think I just don’t have time to think all the way through anything. In fact, I’ve been wrestling with this suspicion that if I did think through this stuff to the logical end, my life would probably get turbulent… again

I’m happy to report that I feel very alive these days, also very human. I’m less happy to report the ‘human’ part. It’s a very bittersweet thing, being human. Lately I’ve been reading and hearing about this ‘Palagian heresy’. In short, there’s this dude from history who didn’t like Augustin’s prayer, “Lord, command what You will, but grant what You command.” He said that’s it’s an absurd prayer, because God puts in all of us the innate ability to accomplish anything that God commands from us. And he even goes a step further and says that that means that we all have some good in us. And that’s where the ‘heresy’ comes from. Many people today -even followers of Jesus – believe that humans, deep down, are good, or at least we have some good. I actually wrote an editorial in the NC State newspaper about this when I was in college. The Bible is clear that there is no good in us. None whatsoever.
But that’s all kind of a rabbit trail. My point in diverging is that as I get a little older, and hopefully just a little bit wiser, I’m learning that theology doesn’t meet reality as simply as we would like it to. I most truly believe that there is no good in any of us. And yet, to steal the imagery from Erwin McMannus, I have these cravings inside of me that honestly feel like there is some good in them. And I see them in other people too.
To be continued…