If you ask J who he’s most excited about meeting in heaven someday, he will tell you, without hesitation, “David!”.

As in, King David who killed Goliath.

He’s also keen on meeting Daniel, but mostly because I think he assumes that there will be lions involved.

Tim Keller often mentions how CS Lewis’ The Great Divorce has an interesting section where a mom is in hell and her son is in heaven, and an angel comes to visit her. She asks the angel whether there’s anything she can do to go to heaven. The angel asks her why she wants to go to heaven, and she says “I want to be wherever my son is.” The angel tells her, “That’s the problem. Heaven is heaven because JESUS is there. Your god is your son.”

I’m sure Lewis does a better job of painting the picture, but, bottom line: my prayer for my son is that someday, he will most look forward to seeing Jesus in heaven.

I don’t really know why — maybe it has to do with turning 30 in a couple of months — but I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of a legacy, and who I’m going to see in heaven…

In my imagination, heaven will be something like this:

First I’ll find Jesus. He won’t be hard to find. The Bible says that there is no sun in heaven because Jesus lights up everything.

And I imagine I’ll spend quite a while with Jesus. But at some point, after a few thousand years, I think I’ll probably go on a little journey to find and hug all the people who He used in my life.  Or who knows — maybe Jesus will introduce us.

Of course my wife and my parents will be at the top of the list. With our new perfect knowledge that heaven brings, we’ll spend countless days reflecting our lives, becoming aware for the first time of the thousands of times we laid our lives down for each other. I’ll finally get all the points I’ve painfully earned by watching Felicity and Once Upon A Time with Steph. I’ll know for the first time how much time my parents spent in prayer for me.

At some point, I’ll branch out. I’ll find uncle Jamie and give him a very long hug. Then I’ll go to box his ears, but I won’t, because I’ll know exactly how hard it was for him. So I’ll just give him a hug.

I’ll find my friends who loved and encouraged me.

I’ll find Chuck Smith and Greg Laurie, because my folks might have never become Christians without them, so… me neither.

And I’ll find Bill Bright (or is it Brite) and thank him for starting Campus Crusade.

I’ll find John Piper and thank him for his books, and all the people he influenced, who influenced me.

I’ll find Matt Chandler and compliment his awesome heaven hair. Same thing for Francis Chan.

And I’ll hi-five Mark Driscoll. He’ll love it there, because nobody has a blog in heaven.

I’ll find my pastor, JD, and thank him for being faithful to the Gospel.

And then I’ll start going back into history… Luther, Calvin, the apostles, the OT prophets…

It’ll be awesome.

But here’s the thing I’ve been thinking a lot about: will anyone come looking for me?

How long will I mourn the hours I spent building my own kingdom, instead of investing in God’s?

And what do I even do about it?

It was so easy in college. I had at least the perception of control over my schedule… my ‘free’ time.

It seems like ground is gained so slowly now. And that’s so discouraging.

But no excuse.

But still: I feel stuck.

What does it look like to make disciples in this season of my life?